Rollercoaster.

[I had no idea what to title this, but my shuffle on iTunes starting playing a B*Witched song with the same name... It seemed fitting, I guess.]

I always wanted to blog.

I mean, I started this one in May, with absolute intentions to fill it up with reviews on books I was reading and my thoughts on the book industry and a whole bunch of random things linked by the sheer fact that they're book-oriented. That obviously worked out well.

Maybe it's just because it's not a habit yet. I just need to keep writing, it always makes me feel better. Writing like any art is a selfish pursuit. I mean, ideally, an artist is putting themselves out there and are producing something to make a statement with little to no regard to what society is expecting them to create. I think people lose sight of that, and it becomes marred in such a way that art loses it's artsy-ness and is just something pretty. Art loses its meaning when it's just to impress [though it could be argued that art that is created to impress is actually making its own statement about art or nature or another abstract topic art is supposed to cover].

So, in my own selfish pursuit, what am I going to try to create with this platform? What do I want to do?

There is so much I want to do. There is so much I want to say. For whatever reason I haven't pursued many of the things I have wanted to do and I haven't said a lot of the things I want to say.

I like lists, so THINGS I WANT TO ACCOMPLISH, HOW AND WHEN:

-LOSE WEIGHT. Not just, you know, a casual five pounds. No. I want to lose 45 pounds. This isn't an OMG-I'M-SO-HUGE! idea, I'm just sick of being unhappy with my image. My weight doesn't affect much of my life besides not liking how I look. I don't look like I need to lose that much even, but the scale and my doctor have said I should. I wouldn't mind reaching this goal in a year, a day before I'm 21, but I'd like to be comfortable in a bathing suit this summer. Which leads to...

-BE HEALTHIER. I suppose this should have been first, and technically losing weight falls under this umbrella, but I figure my weight is an aesthetic issue, and my health is a more pressing I-WANT-TO-RUN-AND-BIKE issue. I just need to eat healthier and push myself as far as my body can go, safely. So I plan on getting a bike in a month or so, but that means I need to...

-SAVE MONEY. I'm a sophomore in college who only works 10 hours/week. I'd work more if I could, but job has limited hours right now and I love my job, and I can't find anywhere to work that can fit in my schedule. I just need to start saving money automatically, and when I deposit my paycheck pretend I only have half of it. I need money to travel, dammit.

-READ MORE. Okay, I'm double-majoring in English and Philosophy so I read a lot at school. Since October I've had trouble settling down and actually getting into a book. I've only read two books for me since January, and only one I was actually actively engaged it [Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk]. I miss reading, and I'd like to hit my goal of reading 42 books by the end of the year that wasn't school related. I'm going to review what I read on here [I have 40 left for the year] and on Amazon, so hopefully that'll be good.

-GET BACK INTO PHOTOGRAPHY. I've always been fascinated by photography and loved taking pictures. Since October I have taken my camera out maybe three times and didn't take many pictures. I want to go out with my camera at least once a week and take at least five pictures I'm proud of and then put them up here and on deviantART, which I already have. I also need to revamp by deviantART again.

-WRITE MORE. I used to be a prolific poet, they weren't great quality or anything, but the catharsis of it is something refreshing, that I miss and I've already referred to. I'm going to write on here everyday unless I have a hectic/crazy/bad day. I'm also going to start writing short stories, around 500 words or so based on a random poem I flip to in a poetry anthology book.

That's about it for now. I'm getting used to this format, so I'm going to be troubleshooting for a while as far as HTML and making this user-friendly and pretty. Even if it's just for me.